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Friday, 29 July 2016

How Much Help Does a New Mother Need?

As a new mother, a lot of people ask me how I am coping with the demands of an infant's round the clock schedule. And almost all of them gasped when I told them I am going back to stay with my husband with no support from my mom from there on.

I had the help of my mom and dad for the first four months of being a mother. It meant everything was taken care of apart from taking care of the baby's essentials.

In the initial 15-20 days, it was my parents, my mother in law, my husband and my brother who were around my 24/7. If you ask me, those were the most difficult days. There are a few things which are different in the first 20 odd days -

1. If you had a surgery, chances are that the first 20 days sitting will also be a task. So would be sleeping, holding your baby, caring for her and yourself. This is definitely the time to garner all the help you can. If you already know you will have a caesarean, plan ahead. Ask a friend or relative to come over. Hire help if possible. Keep the kitchen ready with ready to eat frozen meals. Ask your partner to do laundry and other things.

2. The emotional mess that your are. The moment you are back from the hospital, there is a barrage of emotions you go through, and you have no idea why! Mostly it is the hormone levels receding in your body causing all this chaos. But it makes things all the more difficult coupled with a new baby.

3. Lack of sleep - No explanation required.

4. Lack of experience - If you are a first time mom, you will not know how to handle a lot of things and hence you will require an experienced person or an expert around you.

Once you are past this, you start getting a hang of things and soon you are enjoying the perks of a new mommy. However, you still have a lot of work at hand! If you are managing the baby by yourself (no relative apart from husband) then a hired help will be a relief. I am lucky enough I have someone to come and clean the house and do the dishes and a cook to take care of dinner. This alone makes it a whole lot saner for me.


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