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Saturday, 30 July 2016

Do I feel normal yet?

It has a been 4 and a half months. Almost.

The pudginess on the tummy remains, it seems lessened though. Should feel better about it. No. Nothing like that.

The sensation on the surgery scar continues. Its lighter, way lighter. Now it doesn't come with the a deep knot in the heart. It's just there.

The consciousness of being 'fat' is all over me. I have lost 3 kgs, feel better? Not yet.

The baby rolls over, spits and wails. I have to be a super mom still. The challenge accepted? Not quite. Trying.

I feel the stares boring into my neck as I walk past twenty somethings. They are judging me, I say.

An old lady barely standing straight trudges past me on my evening walk. I will not judge her, I say.

My life's journey is split in two - before and after.

I am wiser, crazier, calmer, more foolish than ever, all at once.

It is not the hormones. It is life, in general.

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