And then one fine day, just like that, I am a mother.
I am wheeled out of the OT, still numb half way down from the caesarean section and dizzy – more with the anxiety of undergoing such an invasive procedure rather than the euphoria of becoming a mother. There are people everywhere, mostly cousins and well meaning relatives, I couldn’t care less. I am looking for my husband (let's call him N). Ah, there he is – anxious and giddy he looks. I was tucked into my bed and I was soon lulled into sleep, courtesy the sleep inducing medicines running through my blood.
The next few days, I will be battling the post surgery effects and going through mood swings – mostly questioning my reasoning behind deciding to have a baby. I will realize my life will never be the same. Probably I will never be able to get back to work.
I always believed that having a baby will be one of the most joyful experiences of my life. The hospital experience was clearly not that – I was in pain, unwell and going through mood swings that had nothing to do with logic.
And N clearly became the best husband ever. He took care of our little girl, fed her, changed her and took care of me as well. He was beaming and cheery as he looked at our daughter. He looked at my swollen and highly pigmented face and planted kisses, making me feel all better just when I was about to go crazy.
Everyone tells you how amazing it is – if you are my age, your Facebook timeline is a live feed of babies being welcomed into this world with happy faces all around them. While people are indeed happy and babies are the most precious, there are background details of what a mother goes through to have her child, both physically and mentally. It would be better if we are also mentally prepared to take on the challenge of what lies ahead.
~ Baby Keisha is over 2 months old, loves curtains, sleeps through the night and has the best smile ever!! :)